27 january '24
the king of beers runs a pound cheaper than corona zero here. madri; or, the king of beers on all-inclusive in the costa del sol; values himself as highly as his brother. both are off though, and i've drained a bottle of the true king of beers instead. i'm going to glass the madri keg, whose present nap after too much tapas is as likely as coors being bedridden after missing his insulin shot. corona zero and corona four-dot-five are interchangable to me in taste, and hence ideal for allowing my liver a, in contrast, truly well-deserved nap during dry january. i've decided to try dry january this year, and i'm kicking it off today. i'd be remiss to mention, of course, the subtle and common lime garnish that has slithered into every bottle like a sumptiously light, refreshing and altogether detoxic tapeworm, but consider this: the general tone of corona is ultimately one of cold, refreshing and lightly hopped mexican lager. corona prides itself on robust and exquisite taste, and a slender, thin body that has detoured the swamp of bitter, stomach-churning hoppiness of the post-modern beer sphere. the atmosphere generated by a corona is one in which you can slide seventeen bottle down your oesophagus in the sweltering heat and feel not drunk and nauseous and carb-plumped; but refreshed, and merely tipsy. corona zero translates all of these (bar the trivially obvious exception) into a zero-dot-zero masterclass in alcohol-free alcohol. in this sense, corona zero allows me to enjoy a pastime very dear to me, without ensuring my premature death at fourty-eight. in this sense, corona zero is my king of beers.
and, if we're being honest, is drunkenness not 10% alcohol and 90% vibes?